Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Blogosphere's most pathetic excuse for a human brain -- A contest


If someone had asked me: "Who is the most ignorant twit, the most delusional, lied to, pathetic excuse for a thinking human being in the blogosphere?" A couple days ago I would have said it was Future Toddler Chopper, Vox Day.

I would have been wrong.

No, the most ignorant twit, the most delusional, lied to, pathetic excuse for a thinking human being in the whole English language blogosphere might just be Tristan J. Shuddery of the "STR : THE FREEDOM BLOG." This guy would either think Stephen Colbert is serious and too liberal or he's got his own kind of "The Colbert Report" satire-blog going.

Now some of you might think Tristan J. Shuddery can't be for real, but if he's not for real he has fooled Conservapedia. Now, I ask you, would Conservapedia be telling us that Shuddery obtained a PhD in Faith-based software-development from Patriot Bible University if they hadn't checked to see if there was a Patriot Bible University and a Faith-based software-development program?

Not only that, on this website, Tristan J. Shuddery himself assures us that his blog is no satire:
Friend,

I can assure you that my web-site, ShelleyTheRepublican.com is NOT a satire. We are a mainstream news/commentary site dedicated to promoting mainstream American opinion, along with traditional Christian family-values.

I know you atheists like to laugh at everything, but please save your giggles for somebody else. You liberals seem to think that just about everything is satire.

That "Friendly Atheist" you mention has ran a campaign of hate against STR.com for almost six months. We are in the process of litigation against him for his outrageous and vile insults against Ms Goodman, her business and the Holy name of Jesus Christ.

Yours,

Tristan J. Shuddery

(Associate Editor, ShelleyTheRepublican.com)

But, just in case I'm wrong I'm going to make this a contest -- can you find a more ignorant twit than Tristan J. Shuddery in the whole blogosphere?

If you can, then use the comments section of this post to link 3 posts from the blog you think is dumber than Shuddery's and high-light some of its most ignorant claims.

For example, here are three links to posts on STR : THE FREEDOM BLOG:

1) Henry Potter Breaks All Ten Commandments

He means "Harry Potter," calling him Henry is either clueless ignorance (perhaps to be corrected soon) or a dumb joke. A real, but bad, joke would be to spell it "Hairy Potter."

2) Compassionate Conservatism & The Leader George W. Bush

Nothing needs to be said here, just read it and laugh.

3) Hitler the Atheist

According to this ignorant twit, atheists and neo-Darwinists believe:

10,000 years ago a catastrophe happened between the Moon and the Earth, with floods and fires , causing a calamitous collapse of the golden civilisations which existed then, and leaving just a few people alive on the world, who were able to find higher ground.

But, to give the guy some credit, Tristan J. Shuddery does have one good argument against Darwinian evolution -- his own existence! If Darwinian survival of the fittest is true, then how come this pathetic excuse for a thinking human being is still alive?


16 comments:

Orac said...

Uh, Norm. Shelley the Republican is a parody.

The reason I know this is that I got burned before referencing it.

Really. Go back and look again.

The Barefoot Bum said...

I have to go with Orac on this: Looks like a parody. There's a sister site that looks even more like a parody: Billy Bob Neck's Website of Bein' Good.

The Barefoot Bum said...

It should be noted, though, that with Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Glenn Reynolds, etc., ad nauseam, it's getting harder and harder to differentiate between parody and seriousness.

normdoering said...

Orac wrote:
Uh, Norm. Shelley the Republican is a parody.

Thank God!

Darwin is safe: "Tristan J. Shuddery does have one good argument against Darwinian evolution -- his own existence! If Darwinian survival of the fittest is true, then how come this pathetic excuse for a thinking human being is still alive?"

I considered the possibilty it was a parody but the posts didn't seem funny enough to be parody. The funny stuff seemed unintentional and rare. So, I thought it was probably for real.

Anonymous said...

Lol...well i might as well throw in a delicious link anyways... http://www.harunyahya.com/
enjoy :D.

normdoering said...

Anonymous offered this delicious link :

http://www.harunyahya.com/

Certainly I'll have to post something on Islamic creationism in the future but I think Harun Yahya (a.k.a. Mr. Adnan Oktar) is less real than Tristan J. Shuddery. And that's not exactly a blog you're linking too.

But I'll give you this -- you're the only one who has even tried to find someone stupider than Tristan. Alas, your Harun has a slickness that Tristan doesn't.

So, Tristan, real or not, still holds the dunce crown for the whole English language blogosphere.

The Barefoot Bum said...

Harun Yahya is, while not precisely a "real person" (it's a collection of writers under a common pseudonym) is at least sincere. Harun Yahya is, however, mostly warmed-over Christian Cretinism for a naive Islamic audience.

kemibe said...

Trying to distinguish between levels of stupidity along the following bloggers is akin to trying to determine the smelliest homeless person in San Francisco from among a dizen finalists:

www.gribbitonline.com
http://nathanbradfield.blogspot.com
http://expressliberty.blogspot.com

normdoering said...

kemibe,

Thanks for playing.

http://www.gribbitonline.com/

Okay, Gribbit's World seems to be pretty much a standard right-wing Christianist echo chamber taking their narrow world view from Ann Coulter. However, I don't think it reaches the same level of ignorance as Tristan J. Shuddery. If there's something so stupid it's funny there you'll have quote it and link it.

http://nathanbradfield.blogspot.com/

Church and State is a bit more pathetic but still just another Christianist echo chamber.

http://expressliberty.blogspot.com

Kerwin Brown's "Expressions of Liberty" blog is certainly weird, and there is a right-wing slant, but I think Kerwin might be the least stupid of your three bloggers, which is not saying much.

If Kerwin's blog is an echo chamber I don't know who he is echoing in the posts I read. I'm not finding the kind of dumb as a turd thinking that creates "Henry Potter" and applies fundy biblical criticism to books they've never read.

But I'll tell you what -- I'll let my readers vote.

Anonymous said...

It's most definitely a satire!

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is satire, as friendlyatheist.com has already pointed out. The whole site is authored by a single man called Paul Day who thinks he's funny.

Here's an article on Boston News about him:
article

normdoering said...

Yes, Anonymous, that article clinches it. Thanks for more proof.

The guy doesn't have the kind satiric insight you get with Colbert, Day has just got this dumb character and it's hard to tell it's satire. Colbert has a way of meaning exactly the opposite of what he's saying that Day doesn't.

Anonymous said...

Hi,

You're a fucking moron and don't understand the first thing about satire. Colbert might once have started out as satire, but he's become firmly parody and (sad to say) a parody of himself. Oh, and guess what - "Wierd Al" and Dave Barry aren't satirists, either, no matter *what* USAToday says. And saying one thing by meaning another is called irony, Jasper.

Tony Hendra, a writer/performer for National Lampoon (and the manager in This Is Spinal Tap) describes satire as “intellectual judo in which the writer or performer takes on the ideas and character of his target and then takes both to absurd lengths in order to destroy them." Satire has also been described as "what closes on Saturday night" precisely because it's not always funny, nor is it supposed to be.

You got roped in because people exist that act and sound like this and rather than pay attention to the words you just made a snap judgment. Poor you. You got pissed off enough to tell other people about it. That's all a satirist can hope for.

The satirist takes it to just over the border of real and fake. Did you ever see the movie Network? At the time it was satire. Now much of it has come to pass.

Michael O'Donohue, one of the founding writers of National Lampoon and Saturday Night Live, wrote some of the cruelest comedy on record. I'll leave him to sum it up - "Laughter is the lowest form of comedy."

No. I can't help myself. I have to finish off. It's just fucking hysterical to watch folks like you and Friendy Assholist desparately "making a case" and "finding proof" as if you're Sherlock Holmes on a very, very important case. That fact is you're just humorless dickheads petulantly whining about, for lack of a better phrase, getting pwned.

Tristan J. Shuddery said...

Friend,

I do not want to keep repeating myself - because I know it will do no good. One of the ways you liberals have always undermined American freedom is by mockery and accusations of "satire".

It's all hilarity to you, I just hope you find things as funny when your liberal ideals get you blown up by a terrorist bomb.

I can assure you that STR is not a satirical site - we are a mainstream news/commentary blog dedicated to speaking out for the oppressed majority of Christian Americans. I don't see whats so funny about that - do you?

Tristan

normdoering said...

Anonymous wrote:
...describes satire as “intellectual judo in which the writer or performer takes on the ideas and character of his target and then takes both to absurd lengths in order to destroy them."

Are you Paul Day trying to defend yourself?

Sorry, but Paul Day is confusing people who read the site precisely because he is not a good satirist or humorist.

The only thing taken to absurd lengths in most of the Tristan J. Shuddery's "STR : THE FREEDOM BLOG" posts is the ignorance of its writers. The actual arguments of fundamentalists are rarely exposed as absurd in themselves, the "judo" does not happen in most posts. The invented character is too ignorant to get that far.

Colbert isn't always great satire, sometimes it is parody, but you'll get the real stuff more often on Colbert than at the "STR : THE FREEDOM BLOG."

And that's the reason Colbert has a Comedy central show and Paul Day only has a blog which ain't going to get him far.

Elf said...

More inspired parody here, particularly from Mrs. T. D. Gaines-Crockett and Pastor Tobin Maker:

http://baptistsforbrown2008.wordpress.com/

Priceless, committed and always a ready answer. This fools a LOT of people.